38 for 38

It was my birthday on Saturday.

I started my 38th year with a Greco cappuccino in North Beach - an indulgent, sun-fueled tone I hope to set for the next 12 months. ☺️

1. If you don’t eat or drink coffee for the first hour after waking, you’ll have a better day.

2. Incandescent > LED

3. Clear is kind, even when it’s uncomfortable as heck.

4. Once you discover birria tacos in a crunchy deep-fried cheese shell, no other taco will be as good.

5. Have I had enough protein today?

6. At 38, you can still feel very sad about things that happened in childhood.

7. People do change, but not always in the way you hope they will.

8. $15/hour is not enough to support a family, so we need either a thriving (not living) wage or legal and affordable access to abortion and birth control in every state. But really we need both.

9. The very best way to start the day is outside with a walk, long or short, and no phone.

10. ADHD presents different in women.

11. It’s okay not to be good at something; it was probably still worth doing.

12. Start contributing to retirement the minute you can — even if that moment doesn’t come until you’re 35.

13. If there’s a cat in your lap, don’t get up.

14. Let a little time pass, and then see how you feel.

15. Ego is the enemy.

16. Kids are capable of a lot more than we give them credit for, especially if we model it for them and are consistent in our expectations.

17. You could always be a glamour puss.

18. A self-seeded backyard tomato garden is not worth a $998 water bill.

19. Learning > knowing

20. I will always have something to learn.

21. It is in fact possible to find a 2 bed / 2 bath beautifully updated pet-friendly apartment with washer / dryer I -unit, AC & heat, a fireplace, porch, claw foot tub, and garbage / water included for $2050 a month on SE Belmont in Portland, Orion in 2023 (and my baby sister proved it).

22. A 20-minute cat nap can change the course of the day.

23. You do, in fact, learn more with age — but if you aren’t careful, that can crystallize into knowing rather than learning.

24. When you’re in a new city, go ahead and walk until your hips hurt.

25. I ❤️ teenagers.

26. Panforte is delicious and easy to make.

27. Stollen is also delicious but not easy to make.

28. The only way to decide you have enough time for it all is to make the “all” part smaller.

29. Say yes to at least one fancy dress party each year, especially if the dress code is sequins, feathers, and leather.

30. You can’t ever really teach someone a lesson. The lessons we learn best are the ones we navigate through our own lived experience.

31. Always download and save customer service chat transcripts (but remember that having receipts won’t always result in the outcome you want).

32. Sometimes renting is the better financial decision (not just the only financial decision).

33. Consistency > perfection

34. I am a true autumn and should not wear black!

35. It’s fine to forget to take pictures; it means you were really present with your people.

36. Don’t delete the picture if it’s the only one you have with you in it. It’s better to have the photo of you with your people — even if you don’t love how you look in it.

37. Starting a puzzle in a shared space is a great way to low key invite your kid to talk to you.

38. Only connect! That was the whole of her sermon. Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer.

If you’re reading this in your inbox, you can find a shareable version online here. I’m on Instagram here, and you can reach me at chelseaslaven@gmail.com.