#13 Magic
Some things I've learned about enjoying this season. Also: an open studio, a traditional-but-not-typical holiday playlist, and do you know about Ana Mendieta?
⭕️ Be a Friend of the IPRC Open Studio A hands-on way to check out the IPRC (Independent Printing Resource Center), screenprint a tote, make a button, and more! Sunday, December 8 | 5-8pm | 318 SE Main St., Portland, OR1
⭕️ Luke Edward Hall: Deck the Halls Medieval jigs, traditional carols sung by choir, Celtic songs — this is not your typical pop Christmas playlist, but it’s really been doing it for me lately. Perhaps not a popular opinion, but sometimes you need respite from Bublé.2
⭕️ Death of an Artist Season 1 of this podcast revisits the death of artist Ana Mendieta (most likely she was pushed out the window of their 34th floor apartment by her husband, the sculptor Carl Andre — but that’s not the worst part of this story), and the silence and protest surrounding her story.3
⭕️ Miss Mouth’s Messy Eater Stain Treater This works better than anything I’ve ever tried and I wish I had it when I was trying to salvage my children’s clothes when they were toddlers. Now I use it on my own messes (of which I make plenty).4
“And, whoa, is that really what I think it is?! Whoa, cool!”
Making the Magic
I can’t believe how easy it used to be to absolutely delight them on Christmas morning.
The real magic years for the holidays are between 5 and 10, and if you’re there right now, you are so lucky.
I’m not talking about magic conjured from an advent calendar packed with activities and treats. This is the magic they create on their own, maybe with some prompting. If you have kids, you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, invite one’s parents to send you photos of the gifts they make for their brother, the notes they write to Santa, the decorations they create out of bits of string and cardboard and glue.
“See, I told you it was lots of legos. And there’s food also. I’m going to leave aside the food. Glue? Good!”
These videos are of Pan on the first Christmas Sebastian and I were separated. It was such a hard Christmas, for obvious reasons. The separation was fresh, I was sad and trying to figure out everything at once: how to be a single mom, how to earn a living that would afford what we needed, how to let go of the ideas I’d clung to about who I was and what I was and would be in the world.
It was the first Christmas the boys were into LEGO.
I definitely couldn’t afford the new sets, but I had a customer at the coffee shop I worked at who offered to let me choose some pieces from her adult son’s childhood collection. I dug through the bins in her basement and was able to fill their stockings with bricks, astronauts, treasure chests, and a pirate’s ship. They were thrilled.
I still return to Pan’s enthusiasm in those videos when I need to remember how sweet and good those hard years were.
Now, they are entirely capable of putting up our tinsel tree and stringing lights in the rosemary bushes on their own. They ask me what I want for Christmas and then go into together to purchase it. I think they enjoy making little plates of treats to eat in their rooms more than they care about walking down Peacock Lane or crafting their own wish lists for Santa. But they still get excited about Winter Faire, and Orion’s been playing the Christmas station on the radio since early November and asking to watch Christmas movies all week (Hot Frosty was silly; we all really liked Nutcrackers).
The magic I make now is mostly edible in form (I’ve got eggnog aging, a stollen in the pantry, and will probably steam the pudding today). I’ve learned a lot about pacing myself, mostly from Nigel Slater’s lovely Christmas Chronicles (start with the audiobook to really absorb his world). It may sound counterintuitive to magic-making, but I definitely enjoy the making of magic more when I’m organized and not putting it all of to the last minute (my former specialty).
I’ve got a few other tricks up my sleeve this year, but I do have to constantly ask myself: will this actually delight them, or is it the idea of it that’s most delightful?
For years, I desperately wanted to buy us matching striped pajamas to wear on Christmas. I desperately wanted to be the kind of cozy family unit that hung out in matching pajamas. I couldn’t afford it. Now, with a different income, when the 40% off sale runs, I’m still tempted. I’ll even add sets to the cart. But I know that money would be better spent on something they actually want or need.
I do think they’ll be into the Walk through Winter Wonderland art installation at the mall that I got us tickets to, and the Christmas cookie puzzle will be handy when we ask them not to be on their phones while we’re watching a movie.
They’re old enough to be reading this, so I won’t say more about the magic being made this year. A big part of making magic is that you don’t see it being made.
I’ve been a member of the IPRC Board since 2023 and will be there serving up hot cider! Come say hi!
I invite you, also, to fall down the rabbit hole of Hall’s wacky-but-it-works / traditional English cottage. I took notes!
My book club recently read Anita de Monte Laughs Last by Xochitl Gonzalez, and the title character is very closely based on Ana Mendieta — I didn’t realize how much so until I listened to this podcast. The book tracks both Anita and a Brown student who discovers her work and story a decade later, and I liked it so much I gave it to my 15-year old to read (I think he’ll dig the 90s hip hop references and the way the character sees this music to be just as valid an art form as anything she’s studying in class).